Jeez! All I needed was a good night's sleep!?!?

It’s been a while since I last wrote. I’ve been quiet tired and lethargic since my last entry.




This morning was different. The alarm went off, I hit snooze twice, then I just got up and started doing the dishes. Huh.



The fact is I got a good night’s sleep last night. Other mornings have me hitting the snooze indefinitely. The truth is I feel like the chemicals or mechanisms that are in place to keep me from moving in my sleep while dreaming are still in my system. In other words; I should still be sleeping. I’ve also been told that I snore, almost violently. The truth is, though rarely, there has been occasions when I woke myself with my own snoring.



Waking this morning felt natural. I awoke with alertness.



Where am I going with all this? Well, a good night sleep for me tends to be more the exception rather than the rule. Improving the overall “restfulness” of my sleep just might be the silver bullet, the magic spell I’ve been looking for! I guess it’s possible that I have sleep apnea, and it’s about time I do something about it, because, right now, I feel great! If this is what life feels like being well rested all the time, I definitely want to sign up for that!!!

Those Damn Dishes!

So I did all the things I was supposed to do yesterday. Every thing except the first two things, that is. I have this thing about cleaning kitchens and baths. I find those tasks unpleasant. I think it has something to do with just my hands in water. I don’t like getting wet unless it’s totally wet, like while bathing or swimming, otherwise, I hate it.

There’s a reason why I’m rambling on about the dishes. I kinda look at that particular chore as the chief physical manifestation of my problems with procrastination. It’s a SIMPLE regular task. Yet, even if it only consists of a dish or two, I still find it difficult to get my hands wet. I don’t know why this is. It’s been this way since my early youth. I just hate it.

Well…. I’m trying to just get over it. I’ve learned to see life as a series of little choices. These little choices all add up to set the direction one’s life might lead. We all know what happens when we give in to little impulses, like having that forth or fifth or sixth piece of chocolate, or what happens when we don’t give ourselves that little push, like when we opt to stay in front of the TV instead of getting out of the house to work out.

Ugh. Well. Here I go. Off to do those damn dishes.

Man…. For some reason, I’m finding it hard to motivate right now. I just spent the last 3 days working the bar at Bill’s Bar and Burger. It takes a lot out of me, being nice to strangers and co-workers all the time. Now all I want to do is veg and maybe play some Rock Band.

I guess I didn’t get the rest I needed last night. I couldn’t sleep. Then at 1am my Mom calls me saying she has chest pains. I figured it was just gas, so I went to Walgreens, got my mom some “Gas-ex,” gave them to my mom, waited around a bit to make sure it really was just gas, wrapped up some of mom’s home cookin’ (you didn’t think I was doing all that for free, right;-)) then went back home. It was 3am last I checked before falling asleep. I only got about 5 hrs of sleep before I had to get up to take my baby to the Path train.

I should’ve went back to sleep after that. Instead, I placed an ad on Craigslist to rent my Aunt’s apt. Then I had a couple of appointment to show the apartment around 11.

So, here I am, trying to motivate myself. This is what I should do with the day:

· Do the freakin’ dishes that has piled up over the last 3 days

· Clean my bathroom. ( I’ve been wanting to do that for a month now.)

· Go to the gym and do a mile + of cardio. ( I’d take the dog to the park but for some reason it just doesn’t seem worth the effort right now)

· Listen to the next Tony Robbins tape.

· Take pictures of the property I live in and other properties of similar stature so I can appeal the property taxes.

· Work on a flyer, with my RE card on it, to distribute in the buildings where my family owns condos.

· Do some hours at the RE office.

· Then go to my 7pm appt to show my Aunt’s place.


Damn. It seems like a lot. I might need a nap first.

Another Day... Another 50 Cents

It’s hard to get started this morning…. Yesterday was a busy day shift for me. (I’m a bartender) I guess with everybody off, they all wanted a burger and a beer. When I got home I just sat in a chair and vegged at the TV with some beer and Disco fries I bought in the morning but didn’t get to eat until I got home, then went to bed.

I get to do it all over again today. Hurray for me. I have the rest of the week off from the restaurant. I can concentrate on Real Estate Stuff.

Jeeeeeez!!!! I was just trying to get my jog on!!!

I went out for a run with the dog did about a lap and a half when I encountered some dumb b!tch with her little dog off the leash. The little dog was running circles around my dog, playing, not knowing that my dog has a habit off chasing little furry things in my back yard. I yelled out at the owner of the other dog that her dog should be on a leash. She apologized, trying to chase down her dog. I had my dog subdued for a little bit, but the other dog kept pestering my dog. I tried to pull Rocky, my dog, away when the latch on the collar some how broke loose. There was a short chase then the next thing I saw was the poor little dog’s neck in Rocky’s mouth. I grabbed Rocky by the top portion of his jaw and pulled released the little dog, where I out of both anger and embarrassment proceed to pummel Rocky. Maybe three blows at most but more than ever necessary, I know.

Now I’ve got Rocky down on the ground by his neck. But the leash is about 5 or 6 feet away from me. Should I drag the dog with me or should I just let the dog stay while I get the leash? I figure it would be unpleasant for both of us to drag him there so I tell the little bugger to stay or so help me. He stayed I got the leash and put it back on him. That’s when I noticed the small cut on my pinky finger. I’m pretty sure I got it when I stuck my hand into Rocky’s mouth to free the other dog.

I’ve got no idea how that latch got undone.

I never finished the rest of the run. I walked home with the dog walking gingerly behind me the whole time. I felt like shit.

I guess everyone involved learned a lesson here.

The stupid bitch should’ve had her dog on a leash.

The stupid little dog shouldn’t be pestering bigger dogs.

Rocky shouldn’t try to eat little animals for breakfast.

I should have grabbed Rocky by the collar and walked off sooner, and I shouldn’t have over reacted with more violence after the incident was over.

Jeeeeeeez!!!!!! I was just trying to get my jog on!

Now I shower and get to work by 11.

My Charmed Life

I have a great life. In spite of what I might have sounded like in the past, I have never doubted how great I have it.

I have the love of my parents and a great bond with my brother, the love and support of my friends, a relationship of growth, discovery and love with my gorgeous girlfriend and the cherry on top, two beautiful cats and my best friend Rocky.

I live comfortably on extremely little effort, a blessing and a curse. That is how I dug myself into this rut.

The challenge, despite all my surrounding comforts, is to push myself to a higher state of self actualization.

The first real hurdle I have to face is my lack of energy when I’m at home during my “me time.” My goals to deal with this are simple:

Wake up earlier
Work out/run
Eat sensibly
Sleep earlier

I’ve started doing about a mile a day at Pershing Field with my dog.

After raising my energy level, “Just do(ing) it” will be a lot easier, hopefully helping with my procrastination issues, thus helping me pull out of the rut.

I must do this now.

I must and will stop playing Bejeweled Blitz!!!!!! Sleeping is better use of time!!!!!!! I will delete the links to the game. I will take my profile off the game. I will block the game.

STOP THE MADNESS!

11:47 pm

I didn’t get to the gym. I did take my dog, Rocky, out for a run! (Well… more of a jog/walk) I did 4 laps around the Pershing Field track. I did that after work, then going to Guitar Center on 14th for stuff I needed for my guitar project, then having dinner at Mexican Radio in Soho with Carol (my lovely significant other.)

The thing I’m really learning to wrestle with here is procrastination. Today, I won a few matches against that old adversary. It feels good.

January 14, 2012 - Day 2

Jan 14, 2010 Day 2

I didn’t make it to the gym or wash the dishes last night.

Instead I ended up playing Rock Band then trying to fix a guitar a got from a friend. I won’t know how it went until tonight when I replace the saddle and string it up again.

I got up this morning hoping to work out but hit the snooze too much so I just did the dishes I was supposed to do last night.

Item for “To Do list for the Future” - for no explainable reason I abandoned a goal I had of becoming a grammar school teacher. My goal then is to take the Praxis exams and score well enough to allow me to enter the alternative route program for teaching in NJ. I’ve purchased a study book for that exam.

I heading to work soon. Ooh! Speaking of work. I’m altering my bartending schedule to only Monday and Tuesdays to allow me to concentrate on my Real Estate job.

My plan for tonight: Go to Guitar Center and pick up saddle and a set of strings for the guitar I’m working on, then meet my beautiful girlfriend for Dinner at Mexican Radio ( I got a deck of 52 restaurant cards/coupons that give me $10 off if I spend $30. Then head home in time to work out before getting to bed around 12. Sounds a bit ambitious to me but what the heck. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Just wanted to say....

I’m glad I’m blogging this. Had some real nice comments and words of encouragement on FB. It’s really fueling me up with positive mojo!!

Day 1 (Still) - Listening to some old "Personal Power" CDs

OK it’s not tomorrow yet but I started listening to these “Personal Power” tapes again. It told me that I should do two things I’ve been putting off. So I’m going to the gym and doing the dishes. (I’d better do the dishes first cause I know I’m not going to want to do them when I get back from the gym.)

Day 1 - Almost 40 years old and what do I have to show for it

Hello World,


It is 1:13 pm Wednesday, January 13, 2010. This is the first real consideration I’m giving to resolutions this year. I’ve decided that I will have only one:

I WILL GET OUT OF THIS RUT.

I’m almost 40. I look around and see my friends with their varying levels of success, and I wonder what happened to me. How did I get so damn lazy, Mom and Dad?

My mom was, by no sense of the word, lazy. She did everything that needed to be done and everything that didn’t really need to be done. She was the main breadwinner. She did all things domestic. I guess, in hind sight, it was no surprise that she didn’t seem so pleasant all the time. Not that she was unpleasant all the time. Just… unpleasant, like an employer might be. My problems with authority probably come from my relationship with her.

My dad, on the other hand, was a night watchman. He worked nights so he could “watch” the kids during the day. If he was “watching” us, he did so with a second set of eyes on the back of his head while he was “resting” on the couch. The fact was that he had to leave for work by the time I got home from school. Sure we played around a lot, my dad, brother and me, but for the most part, he was napping…. (This could explain my fondness for napping.)


I think the truth is less lazy and more fearful. I have an extreme lack of focus that has proved to be a problem.

I’m a classic underachiever.

My mom still has a letter that I received from the Navy after I took the ASVAB test in 6th grade. (I think it was 6th grade.) It said that I qualified for training to be a nuclear engineer or something like that. My poor mom. She was so proud. I guess at that point she’d never guess her eldest of 2 would be sponging free rent off her living in an apartment that would be better used for actual paying tenants. I wonder if she cringes when she thinks to herself that her son is a bartender/ part-time rental agent.

Well… writing this blog is my first act toward getting out of this rut. Someone said “If a life is worth living it’s worth writing about.” (please don’t ask me who) So here I go.

I’m going off to my Real Estate office. I’m going to put in some hours. It’s a wonder they haven’t fired me yet.

Good luck with your ruts, people. More tomorrow