Monday, Monday.....

It's been busy in my life.

I've been dealing with a lot of stuff.  Much of that stuff is internal.  The truth is that I'm still mourning the loss of a relationship that I had hoped would last a lifetime.  I'm angry.  I'm sad.  I'm getting over it.

Denial, bargaining, anger, depression, acceptance.  Those are the stages.  Of course they don't occur as a nice, neat sequence of events, but acceptance is always the last.  Anger and depression seem to co-occur with me.  It finally affected me at work.  I was suspended for being rude to a customer.

Funny thing about the suspension; it was a good and bad thing.  Bad, obviously because I let my personal life get in the way of performance at work.  Good, because it showed me I had earned the respect of my manager who was instructed to fire me but instead defended me to his superior and I ended up with suspended instead.  Good also because it shed some light on what I'm going through internally.

I'm in good spirits right now.  I'm taking a break from some school work to write this.  It's almost ironic though.....  The path I altimately decided to take as far as careers go, especially with what I'm going through emotionally.  The paper that I'm working on deals with forming a style of counseling I might employ when I get out there in the working world. (FYI, I'm getting my master's in counseling)  Its all helping me through my grieving process.  I'm a little closer now to acceptance, though it still hurts to look back at the good times.  I'm trying to push forward.

I'm making really small changes in my life daily.  When I look around my home and when I look around my life,  I'm starting to see thing are looking up.  I'll write more on the details later.

BTW.....  Thanks from the bottom of my heart for reading this, any and all of my posts.