Time to wake the GIANT

40 years old. Wow. It’s still sinking in.




The celebrations are over. Now, it’s back to work on waking the giant I know is within me.



Part of my problem, as I’ve been saying from the get-go, is my contentment. I really don’t need that much. All I really want to do is live financially stress free. There in lies my built in nemesis. I have that already to a certain extent. I need to think much bigger.



NO! I need to FEEL much bigger!!!



Intellectualizing this stuff is great, I guess, but I need to push my mind and heart onto the same page.



Right now, I live in a nice apartment, with a great dog, a great girlfriend, and have a great support system. It’s no wonder I’m soooooo content.



What I need to make real for myself are the consequences of living the way that I am in the short term future.



I know this. Without growth; without visible tangible development; without giving back to those who love and support me; I will become a burden, a chore. Who the Frak wants to deal with that! I will loose everything that is dear to me. EVERYTHING.



(Writing that last sentence was difficult. Because I know it’s true. I sit here, alone, writing this and I know it’s a future that can be.)



The people in my life that stand by me deserve a GIANT from me.



My Mom, who has given me life, love, ethics and intelligence.

My Dad, who has given me the ability to dream, and see things for the way they can be.

My Brother, who has given me his unwavering and undying friendship, trust and faith in me.

My Girlfriend, who accepts me with all my quirks and idiosyncrasies, and loves me non-the-less.

And my friends, my extended family, the people who help shape my personality in my wonder years, through all the lack of communication over the years still welcome and invite me into their lives.



They all deserve a Giant from me.



Without them, what would these last 40 years really mean.